三月春初

我要戒甜食！！！

binge eating disorder?

it's a problem.

***

i must have a problem somewhere, some psychological problem? i dont know.

i cant help but to binge at night. it's abnormal to the extend that i start eating things that i dont normally eat. like eating chocolate like crazy. it must be some kind of deep psychological issue? or am i just too anxious?

i should find another way to overcome this. somehow.

anyway, headache attack. sleep soon. 

i dunno how i came across this website, webMD. i think it was through googling "good chocolate". haha. anyway...

the thing is, yes ok i m a bit obsess with healthy eating and all. but i dont know with all the videos bombarding my audio and visual perception, i find these all a bit cliche now. eg, eating this and this is good to increase our daily needs of BLA and it can prevent cancer. Research shows consumig Y amount of Z per day lowers the risk of XXXX cancer. 

that's when i start to think, how sad is it. how sad is human life. we eat this and that because it will help lower to risk of becoming sick. welcome to the world of modernisation and urbanisation. 

i like the idea of health, but also respecting the beauty to eat, to enjoy what you eat. Eating for the sake of satisfying the body's natural desire to consume macro and micro nutrients; eating for the sake of enjoying the taste of culinary delights, no matter the way it is being prepared. Yet, the modern world (alongside the everchanging/evergrowing desire of human nature), we have either indulged too much or binged too much, that we have forgotten that, our bodies know exactly what it needs. 

Eating is a cultural experience, an art, a necessity. I dont think i want to always eat this because it gives me my 5-a-day or smth like that. all in all,  I think i just hate that it has became so commericalised, this idea of nutrition and health. 

anyway, check it out. this website. *the coffee video feels a bit exaggerated, for me anyway*

http://www.webmd.com/video/cooking-healthy-oils

mavin khoo

mavin khoo. 

he's like my new addiction. not that i know a lot about him yet, but the fact that he is malaysian and great dancer simply caught my eyes.

i like when things get so passionate - on the inside.

 like, not fake. like, there's some kind of raw truth in it. 

i like it when it gets so personal, yet applicable to us all, in a way or the other. 

it's the display of the underlying causality of humanity. 

haha, perhaps i m assuming too much, or i know too little about the world. 

what really attracts me, i think, is him, as a person, his superficial appearance as a dancer/choreographer on stage. 

he is born, to be a dancer. he is a dancer, as much as he is the dance itself. 

it tickles that sensation in me. perhaps, deep down, i m certainly in need of something, that will compensate for my passivity during the daylight.

i just like it, when things gets so, unconventional. 

u know, just not liking what others like. not the conventional/popular stuff at least. 

bye for now. 

hi.

i, read a blog. a friend's (?) blog. it gives me a thrill when people has great aspiration, and it motivates me too. maybe that's why i m writing now.

faith or fate, it doesnt matter. i believe that we do walk a certain pathway, and we need to pass through certain things in life. but what we can control, is the way in which we reach towards it, the route on which we travelled to it. 

i guess it is fated, i just have to walk this way.

to try to be, some kind of pioneer, big or small. perhaps i never (ever) in my life, like to do what others did. i try (or subconsciously control myself) to see things differently from others, to have (perhaps already) a different life from others, though we might have that same label, no matter as a student or whatever (just realised i have only been a student before, and till now). 

i m in this area, this big area. but it's so big that i do not know where to start from, or how to start. tuning in that positive-thinking mindset, i should be happy to find myself in AN area ? (or not). 

step by step, shall i say. there's many things to think about, to ACTIVELY think about.

*sometimes i just cant help worrying my passivity could lead me to no where at all....*

as i continue this journey forward, i need to set my mind right. it's not about where this leads you too, it's perhaps the encountering, as random as it might be, that is the essence of those great aspiration in life. my quote/inspiration of the day. 

when london snowed (as in real snow)

for the first time (since ages ago) i will blog with pictures

just cos the world is chaotic, ecologically wise

to see is to believe.

is this london?

i do not know, anymore

but we had fun

at least for now

but still, i love snow. :D