Tuesday, August 7

臺灣東海岸之旅

對臺灣的認知
大部分停留在臺北的高樓
西門町的巷子
誠品書店
不打烊的7-11

***
但是 臺中花蓮之旅過後
就整個不一樣了


往花蓮沿途的咖啡車車



還有陪伴著一杯杯的曼特寧的枯樹月色

接下來的一天,更探討了石窟的奧秘,還有仰望更加奧秘的藍天白雲....




可是,這一切只不過剛剛起頭。更心曠神怡的還在後頭。
因爲,我們住進了我個人認爲,獨具“后現代浪漫”主義的民宿 — 光宿。



還趁機翻一翻這裡女主人的CD收藏

然後盡量妥協只有一把風扇能夠給予的涼快的...樂趣?

不過這裡的生物倒是別有風味,如這一只蝴蝶....




月亮呢,總是默默地守候,待夕陽西下之后,為漁民照亮。
真的,來到這裡,才體會到,月亮的偉大。只可惜,沒有月光照亮海面的照片為証...





理所當然的,這種地方給予的靈感,可是無限多的。
如果讓我住上一個月,我會考慮出一本“流連東海岸之詩情畫意”....



更有趣的是,這裡有一個叫做春天的猛男,開了一閒只有一座的餐廳。鮮少接觸城市的文化,卻可以煮出一些口味十分Fusion的菜色。了不起啊!我妹也因此偷偷喜歡上他,2 個晚上。哈。

那麽,既然這麽喜歡這裡,我怎麽又是一副臭臉呢?答案:曬斃了!

旅途中,肯定少不了拍一些很有感覺/FEEL的照片啦....

不過呢,還是不忘自拍一下下.. 看看這兩位,拍到幾爽?!

最後豐盛的原住民大餐,更讓我見識了貨真價實的正派臺灣石頭火鍋!原來啊,使用熱騰騰的石頭,當作另類/傳統加熱器,將鍋裏的東東加熱!百聞不如一見!

然而,我是多麽不捨啊。飛機之下的雲層,願意再次帶我到遠離都市的桃源嗎?

Wednesday, July 11

初步计划

荒废了这里好久了.. 真是不应该的。

***

这些放纵的日子里,我的脑袋可是没有怠慢下来的。
在想,到底以后的我,该做一些什么有意义的事业。

一直想完成梦想。一个翩翩的梦。
可是,我弄不清楚,那些梦,是回忆的后遗症,还是未来的所有。

到底,我还要这样下去多久呢?
是因为没有好好说再见的关系吗?为什么 总觉得 老是和那一些回忆 纠缠不清?

多少年了 往前看 好不好?

***

好吧。那如果真的不能摆脱那些梦想 干脆去面对吧
于是 我开始计划
毕业后 给自己一年的时间 去探索那一些翩翩的飞舞生活方式 是否是我想要的
然后呢
就看着办吧

而 接下来的一年
必须先修好这一门学士学位
以后的路 怎么走都好
既然已经差不多到寒窗三年的终点了 就应该有始有终的 对自己 对父母 都有一个交待

加油

Wednesday, May 30

the last of the 180 marathon

last 180

pleeaaaasseeee

i need smth good

smth more than good

let the last 180 be the best ever 180 minutes in my life

oh gosh

y am i saying this




anticipating... with hope

Tuesday, May 22

180是个宿命的记号

用180分钟准备
在准备后的180分钟之后开始
然后在180分钟之内结束



还有多少 180 需要 继续 承受 下去



谁都好,请为我 默默往正面祈祷。

Monday, May 21

死因(II)

瘫痪在一摊
需要重新面对的数目字
我不想 真的不想
有什么可以 挽回我的钻牛角尖

为什么那个牛角尖死了都要针对我
为什么那个牛角尖早不钻迟不钻
偏偏在我生命唯一的180分钟里面开始不停地钻

It’s so XXX straight-forward
And u just can’t see the XXX point




无法解开了
无法

请赐我睡眠
让我醒来以后忘记这一切发生过的蠢事
就当作
那些愚蠢的180分钟
是我梦境里的所有

也许
明天之后
我可以考虑转行了

做一个
钻牛角尖的诗人
也许
这样子会比较快活一些

死因

我 需要 勇气

失败的可能性太高的时候

我 真的 需要 勇气

勇气 去面对 自己不堪的过去
而这不堪的过去 即将变成更加不堪的未来

不堪
因为不堪
所以更不堪

一百八十分钟
决定生死的 一百八十分钟











终结

Work, Stress and Statistics.

try combining:

a) milk with stress

b) coffee with stress

c) milk with coffee with stress


what do u get?


Diarrhoea.

Wednesday, May 16

31.5 · 9.6 · 16.6

一些梦 原来是如此地真实
画面渐渐离我远去
然而 感觉贴近心境
就 这种 感觉
没有让我伤悲或疲惫
就因为这种感觉
我的阴天仿佛比别人的多了朝气
就因为这样的梦境
即使没有什么预兆性能和可信度
却更让我下定决心
先好好搞定
现在现时间的
苦境与困境

艳阳天里我不远了

我的 31.5 · 9.6 · 16.6

Tuesday, May 15

帮个忙啦~!

救命啊!

睡神暂时不要来找我!贪吃鬼也快快滚蛋!

我只想专心的读书啊!

Thursday, May 10

Sun-Breeze.

Gusts of wind

Rhythmically blowing upon my opened window

Was it the sunshine

Shimmering through the azzuriness of the skyline

Or was is the chilliness of the moving air that

made my mind rested on

rested on an island of peacefulness and that jetty kopitiam

How I wished my lips are sipping up

a mouthful of jagungness that shivers my teeth and spine

yet fulfilling my needs

of ice and of cold

to complement a sweaty and sandy day

and then gazing beyond the schematic nature of fire

of which the azzuri united with the fading glow of the orange ball

until finally

I decided to return

To retreat to the cosiness of an array of homely feast

And while the night began to settle

I soon find myself lying beneath

Constellations of little eyes

Those great eyes

The ancestors of the circle of life

Brought back memories of the late grandfather

Which I incidentally dreamt of before I rose this day…

Receiving first the blessings from this perfect day

I rejoice and retract inwards

To continue my search of the divine truth

With the accompaniment of fellow Greek Thinkers

And when the temporal damnation comes to an end

I shall once again revisit my dreams

The dream of tranquil and subtle joy

And the passion that nourishes the desiring soul

Friday, May 4

春天的心 去了哪里?

春末
带点 秋天的心
秋天的 愁

仅只一次
仅只一天
好 吗?

Tuesday, May 1

蓝色的我
蓝色的你

昨日的连身校裙
今日的万里无云

蓝得可以平躺在大草原
因为蓝得够恰当 蓝得够意思
所以懒得去管
无法着床脑细胞的讲义

望着慵懒的你
还有你 和你
那个不愿下班的2点钟光芒
那个永不休止的摇曳和婆娑
我的思绪开始偏离正题 被吹到
一闪而过的 水连天天连水的夕阳无限好
然后停留数秒在 走廊木桌上未吃完的三明治
深一深呼吸 又是那股变形湖的青苔味
然后停止了
回到挂着等待风儿吹干的衫裤
回到窗外依旧艳阳高照以及有时还蛮烦人的风
以及那个被埋在千张万张纸张里的我

@ 祁家 Flat 6 Junipers
一个万里晴空的星期二
一个不像傍晚六点一刻的傍晚六点一刻

Monday, April 23

待续的快乐

春假已过
迎接夏日之前
让我先好好地冲刺
然后从记忆中
重新捡回艳阳高照的午后
涌入35度的怀抱里

倒数计时
7周飞快的7天7夜

冲向所有期待的
冲向一切渴望的 ....

待续的快乐
才刚刚起了头
继续
等待 吧

Monday, April 16

安息吧~

今早见
白花瓣满地散
春天即将终结
凄美的终结

刚才的午后
收到一通miss call
播回去之后 发觉
窗外的白色凄美
好像 让我了痛了一些
不想离去 却非得离开不可
时间终结小白花的小生命
也终结了 外公曾经那老当益壮的臭皮囊

灵魂依旧存在
在某个国度或时空
衷心祈祷未来一切更好
如果您的那个世界 还存在未来这一种观念

终于 您都自由了
完成了今世的使命
来生 若有来生
希望一切更加美好幸福

安息吧 终于都能脱离 肉体的苦难 得到一种提升 一种 禅

Wednesday, April 11

生日快乐

20. it was 10 year ago since there's a number '0' in my age.

the yester years of the 10s; the symbolic number of the anticipation towards a new phase in life.

life is too short to ask for too much, on a special day like this.

how many more such special days can there be anyway?

***

睡眼惺忪,窗户的缝隙,透出微光 - 比平时的朝阳薄弱了许多。

天空灰灰的,我悄悄祝贺自己,生日快乐。

天空灰灰的,我大声告诉自己,无论怎样,生日应该要开开心心,把阳光放在心上。


***

感谢妈妈爱睡到不得了还特意来电并send sms,真的感动了;
感谢爸爸的生日卡;
感谢妹妹的生日卡? 不知道算不算,不过真的很cute呢!
(ps: u shud giv credit to AR and popo too laaa~~~)。

感谢祁家的easter b'day cake, 真的很喜欢,很感谢有你们的陪伴,让我生日不孤单。

感谢99老友团的贺语,好想回马亲口对你们说声谢谢,然后重游阳光沙滩.......

感谢猫猫的生日礼物,虽然还没有收到;感谢所有所有,祝贺我的朋友们,想起我的朋友们...




也感谢,这一天,阴阴的天空。没有你的灰色心情,就衬托不出我的快乐喜悦,我静静的外在世界,我翻滚着雀跃心情的内心世界。

Thursday, April 5

system in need of a restart...

system breakdown

virus attack

nerdy mode has been switched to safe mode

system restarting

scanning in progress

.
..
.
..
.
..
.

virus detected!

to continue, send to quarantine

repair using motivation and determination



to avoid future disruption to system

please allow no external/internal distraction

and control for new virus/trojan attack by scanning on a daily basis


end of scanning

please allow system to rest and start up again on a nice bright sunny day :)

Thursday, March 29

time to be nerdy

begin

.
.
.


shean
is
now
programmed
to

nerdy
mode


.
.
.


end

Friday, March 23

aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

如果今天可以永远持续下去
感觉我的假期 只持续了一个晚上
也许 是因为这样
不够 不足够


aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
除了无助的呐喊之外
也没有别的方法了
就让我 释放一下 没有假期的感觉好了

Saturday, March 17

我要....

把拔 玛迷

你们快点来探望我啦

好不好啊




傻女

佢哋都睇唔到啦




係咯

算罷啦

PASSION~

if i do not have obligations, obligations that do not encompasses passion

if i only have passion, passion that are important to life, society and the world, passion that are beneficial not only to myself as a selfish being but as an individual that could contribute in some sort of way to the big society

if only.. i can live on.. with just having p.a.s.s.i.o.n.
and perhaps
nothing else


yes
i am still
my selfish self

Saturday, March 10

8

yaaay

my feet actually fits into size 8!

wahaha

Tuesday, March 6

太好啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦~

天气心情运气时机

都好好好好好好啊





太好了

真的太好了






要开始好好努力啦

心头大石放下

真的放下了

一切的努力等待与寻找

有了着落

有了好的结果

只是 我开心到极点,还是不会掉泪的



哇哈哈

Monday, March 5

YIPPIE chap goh meh~

新年正式结束!15days of 吃喝玩乐,15days of 放肆.. well not exactly, but quite a few record-breaking events to add to my list...

yeap. a day of full-cooking, emerse in a total m'sian atmosphere.. YIPPIE.

yeap. a day of no lab reporting when lab is due the next day. YIPPIE.

yeap. a day of rain rain rain and going to fresh asia twice to get stuff. YIPPIE.




TMR. wake up 7am... lab lab lab till i feel mentally dehydrated and physically exhausted. breakfast and lunch? we'll see.



I LOVE TODAY. WAHAHA.



~daan daan crazy liao~

Friday, March 2

矛盾 的 我

为什么明明

蓝色的天空伴随白色的云朵
我却偏偏
爱反复重播着
灰色的心情?


Now playing:

礼物 - 黄立行
生日快乐 - 刘若英
完整演出 - 黄义达

Tuesday, February 27

D R I V E N

D.R.I.V.E.N.




i was driven by..
music
eye contact
physical
mental
emotions
strength
drastic
changing
sudden
lights
transluscent
ongoing
muscles
limitations
jealousy
intimacy
caring
desire
ego
death
rise
closeness
hatred
likes
passion
lost
wanting
freedom
pressure
pleasure
relations
chemistry
reality
fantasy
.....
....
...
..
.



there're no limits to the interpretation of
the
dance.

Friday, February 23

猪年快乐!

猪年的定义:煮煮煮,吃吃吃,然后变成猪猪猪!


感恩祁家上上下下,一同努力让彼此的农历新年不乏家的温暖...

至大家姐:即使你明年不与我们同住,但是你依然是我们祁家的一分子。明年的农历新年,一定要再次创造纪录!
至羊羊:鬼点子多,怪表情多,欢乐贡献良多。感恩。
至祁祺:嗯.. 一切尽在不言中.. 感觉我们已经是,形影不离了..Hahhaaha.. thanks for being tolerant and understanding. :)
至自己:不是所有人都那么地幸福的... 要好好珍惜...
猪年快乐!

回顾,丁亥之前...




偷偷来到了这里, 过足自由的瘾...







然后,回想着2006,妈咪不舍地说了拜拜…







乘着火车,趋向一个叫异乡的地方…








一路陪伴我的白雪、车轨、蓝天、白云,还有mp3的音乐;我,并不孤单..







回到温暖的祁家… 空气蔓延着黑墨的气味时,我没有因为想家而心寒了...






...多亏,那些一起共难的日子...




..还有为着烤烤烤而努力的热诚...










就这样 农历新年悄悄填饱了冰箱..




而饭厅的角落,多了前所未有的大红..






新年来咯!



满,满,满!!!





新年篇,待续…
























Thursday, February 8

人群中·孤单

迷 惘 。

曾几何时
我走进一条 康庄大道
与我同行的陌生路人
嘘寒 问暖

曾几何时
康庄大道
人影稀疏了
逆风频密吹着
催化逃避
让冷清加温 升华

曾几何时
生活圈子 变得小 渺小
走路总是低头
面对风景 微笑
面对似曾相似脸孔 点头
不说一句 再见你好

曾几何时
康庄大道 不在
被推挤到
羊肠小道

曾几何时
蹲坐在路旁
呼吸着鞋纹间灰尘的味道
凝望着风景
此时 风 也停了
嘈杂人群 听不到
心跳 随着喧闹
销声匿迹 灭了 散了

Monday, January 29

可以做永远的诗人吗?

又来了 又来了
不想做任何动脑筋的事情
那些我认为动脑筋的事情
我宁愿 静静坐在这里 写一百首
不折不扣的打油诗
然后全部用ctrl A highlight起来
delete掉
然后 到厨房 倒一杯柳橙汁
欣赏着 那些新年的零食
假期到底为何这样快离我而去
就像酒精蒸发掉一样永远离去
一去不复返
时日不重返
我生待明日
待 待 待
待到今年夏天的冰淇淋
明年春天的樱花树
后年秋天的红色枫叶
一生中 到底什么最值得留念 留恋 流连?
流连忘返 在去年海边的疯
依依不舍 在若干年前心头的痛
总是要绕一个大圈
才做对一些事情
也许若干年后 又会开始后悔当年的任性
就像现在惋惜没有把握从前的美好一样
惋惜后悔
没有时间 珍惜现今
然后 重蹈覆辙
重复着惋惜后悔的动作
十足一个不倒翁
永远不懂得前进
只懂 失望时往后退 奢望是往前盼

一二二二的星期一夜半
我醒着 清醒着
而心 却很想醉倒在夏日绵绵的热风中...

Wednesday, January 17

假的进步

亲爱的读者,

我曾经说过,我很喜欢我家外面的小庭院。

今天,运动洗澡之后,坐在靠背的木椅上,读着藤井树的《寂寞之歌》,也一同跟随着情节发展陷入了层层叠叠的寂寞里头。

寂寞,总是激发我的思绪,我的敏感神经。

就在这时候,我稍微离开了黑色的《寂寞之歌》一下下,观察着四周我喜爱的庭院。赫然发觉,一切的一切,都是,假象。原来,所有的人,都爱上了假象。

先说说自己好了。

我喜欢绿意荡漾的庭园。竹子树立木栅前,像是守卫着我们小小的家一样。还有最近光顾了南洋然后却因为眷恋这里而不想就此离去的雨神,为我们的石头小径增添了薄薄的绿衣裳。难得的青苔,真想把他们搬回去放在那些陈年的盆栽上。坐在这里,眼神摆放在距离最舒服的远方,泳池的粉蓝色,就在瞬间把我从美景里用力地来了出来。

假瀑布流向假的水池制造出假的水声让你感觉到仿佛身在森林里某个会让你心旷神怡放松紧张情绪的度假旅行当中。

围绕着泳池、那些傲气逼人的棕榈树,瀑布后面让你跑步跑到气喘如牛的跑步机......

写到这里,我的矛盾本质已经不容许我在这样写下去了。

我们活在这个世界,也许不可以要求得太多。就像我要回到用写信交流,用双足环游世界,为生活而生活的年代。

是的。我向往一个大自然的空间。可是,无可否认,我也同时很爱坐在街头巷尾,喝喝蓝山,吃吃松饼蛋糕之类。从前的从前,要得到前者易如反掌,后者是贵族独有的奢华享受。可是,今时今日,情况却是恰恰相反的。真正的大自然所剩无几,而且可贵到需要被列入受保护名单的地步,至于后者,咖啡厅如雨后春笋,比比皆是。

要跟着时代进步而进步。但是,想一想,何谓“进步”?而这“进步”的以后的以后,又是如何的呢?进步再进步再进步,然后再然后再然后呢?

雨停了。也许就只有天气,是永远不变的。



璇风随笔

Tuesday, January 16

say 88 to AB

Good Morning!

I can't believe I woke up at 7am this morning, thanks to my right nostril that itched me to consciousness. It must have been some germ attack or something. I just could not remain in a horizontal position any longer.

Thankfully, after 3 days and 3 nights of marothon-ing with my portege on the unbearable-turned-historical Annotated Bibliography, I could confidently say that I am a better journal-skimmer. no more AB for good. u hv no idea how thankful grateful delightful cheerful joyful I am. U HV NO IDEA.

but to add on to that, i managed to eat at crystal jade la mian xiao long bao, brewed tea "professionally" for the first time using mum's tea tools, cooked garlic fried rice for the first time using my own method and it tasted great, watch 2 episodes of My Girl eventhough i've watched the whole series before.

I can't believe I am now in the position of packing already. I thought I wanted to go back to UK badly but now it seemed to me that I do want to stay for a few more days. But then, i do miss UK. After being away from the "virtual social community" - MSN for a long time, I went on it again last night and realised i do miss Kei Fam a lot!!! I won't be long till i come back k? need to enjoy more of singapore first for now...

OK. my breakfast is sitting next to me now, and I am sitting in the middle of my beautiful garden, which I remember last embracing its beauty with words when I was preparing mock IB.

A late Happy 2007 to all. to whoever that pass through here, with and without notice.

shean aka. daan daan

Thursday, January 4

can dis be consider a new yr resolution?

3 words...

prioritise prioritise prioritise...

end of story...

Wednesday, January 3

2 0 0 7

二 零 零 七

很久以前,是那么地遥远。现在,我却,身 在 其 中。



2007, 写日期的时候,开始由陌生变得熟悉。可是为什么,突然之间,我有一个奇怪的想法;感觉2007仿佛只是一个过渡期的365天?

2007的存在,只为了迎接2008?2008的北京奥运,2008的毕业典礼,2008的“正式成为大人”之日,2008的2月29日, 2008的....




不管怎样,2007,步入了第3天。还有362天。倒数是没有意义的。

明天,是的,2007年1月4日,我真的要做点什么了。去年的最后一天到今天,一直呆在家里没事干。脑袋不想做功课,因为潜意识一直在催眠自己,说还是公共假日,不必那么用功嘛。谁知,明日复明日,自我谴责的声音在后脑勺也越来越响了...

不是说好,这个假期,要在放松之余也过得充实的吗?

14天,够你充实了吧。新的一年,不可以在让惰性倾翻你的人生了。蛋蛋不可以,璇风也一样。加油吧,自己。

Saturday, December 23

唉...

突然很想回祁家..

想去哪里去哪里 想做什么做什么 想几时运几时运动 想买什么买什么

在这里 会变成 一只 肥胖的囚鸟





救命啊

我要回到邦咯岛 玩banana boat玩到疯掉 实现水上环岛的计划 看日出日落 天天早上jogging吃来粉去码头和咖啡吃面包 学好脚车 玩大弟到闷死去 谈天谈到三更........

很多东西逼不得已 很多东西来不及 很多东西不如人意 很多东西出其不意







已经不是一个吉隆坡人了
以后的我 该怎么生存在这里
以后的我 会不会选择 这里
不知道不知道不知道

啊啊啊啊.. 恋恋不忘 西海岸的沙滩风情... 想 回到过去
2006 不要那么快走 好吗

Friday, December 15

spontaneous post

finally i get down to blogging again.

things r going to happen, things r happening, things happened. many. plenty. so much more.

it's time to go home.

要回家不要回家要回家不要家回要回家不要回家要回家不要回家要回家不要回家要回家不要回家要回家不要回家要回家不要回家要回家不要回家要回家不要回家要回家不要回家要回家不要回家










dis week is just random. today i learnt dat i need to assume the world is a random place. but i think it is anyway.






moulin rouge is so nice. i want to watch again someday.



in need of good music. good english songs. someone can help me by sending me some.


i wonder if i will spend most of my life sitting ard the corner n observing wat other ppl do to their lives. as if i dun exist, as if the world is turning n i m watching it spinning like mad. sometimes i dun feel like a part it, eventhough sometimes i do. sometimes i feel lost in the middle of nowhere, n when i look ard i saw ppl i noe doing things dat i do not noe. i could go on n on n say crazy things, but i think i will stop here becos my fingers feel weird thx to chilli seeds.

but then, i still dunno the world i m living in. i dunno anything eventhough sometimes i think i noe something but not everything.



ok. stop. it was all too spontaneous, even for myself to accept. all this.

Sunday, December 3

THE week part 2

half a sunday came back.. and now it's gone.

tick tock tick tock. 5 mins to 2pm. sunday afternoon.. shudn't be too relaxing as work is calling me..

***

had soup lunch.. n now back to room, staring at computer..

***

reporting back in THE week..

friday's gospel nite was ok. good job on the flute 羊羊! n she must hv been so shocked when she saw her bf! haha...

***

then came saturday. as always, saturday is so full of bliss, peace and tranquility.

music in mp3 + nice walks around town + nice weather; 幸福的感觉,就像现在播放着的《幸福洋菓子店》一样的温暖。


then it was catholic society's x'mas ball. thanks for inviting us 祁祺!

jazzy music perking up the spirit, while moderate food + yummy dessert adds on to the nice atmosphere. didn't want to hang around so just went home, a freezing walk home.

***

time to get back to books again. x'mas is not here yet. no pain no gain.. work b4 u party again laaaaaaaaa......

Friday, December 1

THE week part 1

THE week. just started and won't end until saturday nite. after x'mas ball.

it started with ballet, St. Petersburg Ballet, Swan Lake. I wanna dance, but my interest has long deviated from ballet to a modern/contemporary dancing, since 水月... the best ending to my secondary school days..

then it was turkish dinner. all those kofte i had.. it was yummy but just too much meat in one go. but the next day i was a vegetarian so it's fine..

***

next up it's tonite's gospel nite and then it's cathsoc ball. looking fwd...

***

lately i can concentrate better in class. n i realised how 3 min 热度 i am.. after lectures i just wanna go back n read read read.. cos all seems so interesting. but when i m back home, i noe i need to cook, i noe i want to chill with Kei Family, i noe i want to spend some time listening to songs and just staring into the blank air, i noe i need to clean my room.. and then the night will be gone before you noe it.

***

will be back with more updates on THE week.

Wednesday, November 22

not in the mood to..

is it possible that two sisters get sick @ the same time but they are in different parts of the world?

***

my sister is so stucked with arts coursework.. and other things. i can't even remember being as bc during my IB days. poor her.

i dun deserve to be sick bcos i hvt been working as hard...

***

actually i m not in the mood to blog. so wtv and bye.

Tuesday, November 14

morning post~

一早醒来,7点整。第1堂课,10点。

早起的感觉真好,准备了简单的早餐 - 热牛奶 + 4块cream crackers with jam/peanut butter, 望着初升旭日害羞地窥探出矮矮的屋顶,感觉此刻好幸福。

一股微妙的欲望在心底燃烧着。好想,好想到海边看日出。

***

现在8点45分。真希望每一天的自己,醒来得那么容易自在开心。

Friday, November 10

生活,是否还在掌握之中?

once again. i hv been lazing ard the whole week, yet i felt i gained a lot out of other stuff in life.

after a hectic weekend of lab report, i was just not in the mood to work. Then Wednesday came by, and 祁家 was on board a journey of craziness and funness yet again...

Marie Antoinette. 绕了一大圈才到达的戏院。Dessert@Zizzi .
Lost in Translation. Music. Mmm.
Burnt Cola-Chicken. Non-working mood/mode.

2 movies, 2nights, 2 venues (1 director though.. ;p). i can't wait for the next outing,大家姐will join in too!

Friday, night already. No work done. And tmr will be another non-stop day.

***

Once again, at one point in the week, I was thinking of my possible options, my future.

I am lost, lost in the mist of blurness.

I felt childish, in the world where people has big ambitions.

I thought I have grown, but then I realised, the me deep inside, is still as dependent and naive as before.

***

Thinking back. 2 years ago. Studying for the sake of studying, for the sake of getting good grades, and getting into a good uni. And then? what is next? 2 year later. These questions remain unanswered.

There might not be another 2 years for me to think. But then until now, I am still 过一天算一天。

不到悬崖边我都不知道危险已经逼近,不知道未来的路是宽是窄是弯是直。没有目标的时候,该如何前进?就这样,麻木地前进。麻木地跟随着人群前进。

如果世界上只剩下我一个人,我会否就这样,静静地呆坐,呆坐到死去的那一天?

***

ending shud not be on a sad/pessimistic note.



所以我告诉自己,我的路,一定不凡。不凡是因为,我选择慢慢地走到终点,以免错失了沿途可贵的风景。

Friday, November 3

Addicted...

Addicted…Part 1 ~*

嗯。
今晚来一点点的
诗情画意… :)

告诉自己,单身潜逃

淡水河边的约定 似梦境
反正我们的故事已经
蜕变成挂在半梦半醒之间的回忆
留下仿如未知数的无意义

忍不住窥探窗外的你
是否 只是幻影

提着一个人的行李
开始无目的地逛街旅行

那间咖啡厅
依然是那间小小的咖啡厅

没有了两个人一起的身影
地球的转动还是如此轻易

追赶着不停下来的时间
想想下一次的择偶条件




懂的人就懂,不懂的人就不懂




Addicted… Part 2~*

炒米饼!!!
M’sia 好像没吃过?这是属于香港的特产吗?真是好好味啊!


yummy!!!

***

no Addicted part 3... yet.

and back to lab. or go to sleep. yeap, i m a bad gal i am.

not_Eliza, signing off...


Wednesday, November 1

tuesday's high

饶恕我的任性吧,自己。forgive me, myself.

for once, tuesday nite is so out of control. halloween is nth but it seems to hv become a 间接性excuse to slack, play ard, hang ard, n be high.

***

who cares abt lab report, who cares abt endless readings. life can never revolve ard academic achievement all the time despite it's importance in the world of reality. but at dis moment i dun care wat i did just now. i feel regret now, not cos i slack too much, cos i ate too much biscuits. ;p

so fun to hang ard with 祁家。

i will miss all these craziness and madness during my xmas hols............................

***

蛋蛋很累了, 要睡了,拜拜了 。

Sunday, October 29

yaam kopi, seik roti!















yaam kopi, seik roti!!! 饮 kopi, 吃 roti!!!

aaa.. guess wat! i did dis in Junipers! in Nottingham!! in freakin' UK!!!

hmm.. oookk. i m more like freakin' out than being happy.. hahaha.. but i m happy! i m HYPER!

caption: ipoh white coffee, one steamed n one toasted wholemeal bread with oliveoil spread n kaya, half-boiled egg but not too successful due to egg taken directly from fridge.

How to prepare traditional M'sian/Sg'porean breakfast:
1) Boil some water. Put room temperature egg(s) into the hot water. Put it on low fire/just off
the stove.
2) Steam/Toast your choice of bread.
(i) for steamed bread: apply butter/marjarine and kaya on your bread before steaming.
(ii) for toasted bread: apply afterwards.
2) Make yourself a cup of Milo/local black coffee/Ipoh white coffee/teh ( milk tea).

How to eat:
1) Serve half boiled egg in small bowl. Add soya sauce and pepper powder.
2) Dip bread into egg mixture/coffee.
3) Feel the goodness of scrumptuous breakfast.



p/s: the kaya could be smoother by using coconut milk instead of creamed coconut + AIR. could add more GULA to make it more MANIS.

p/s (ii): AIR = water; GULA = sugar; MANIS = sweet.

MUAHAHA. today is such a nice day, n it is just the beginning of it. :) no more daylight saving time, but an xtra hr wont make the winter longer if everyday is going to be this good!

Tuesday, October 24

randomising life

i m beginning to accept the fact that i m not a professionalist.

being a generalist means, u r interested in many things, but might not become an expert in it. hmm. dat's really true of me. but i use to hate it, hence not accepting it.

i like almost every lecture now. i like walking on the street, alone or with a fren or with a bunch of frens. i like cooking 2gether with flatmates. i enjoy beeston shopping days. i dun hate cleaning my room/bathroom. i dun hate washing up. i like my room though still hs room for improvement.

hmm. maybe it's just cos i m not really really doing much work yet. when pressure piles up on me, i m surely going to hate the whole world again. it's just a matter of emotions n perceptions. everything in the world is just so.. psychologically related. :)

though haven't been sitting down and thinking of 'what should i be when i grow up' kinda question, but sometimes in the middle of resting, walking, dreaming or wtv, it just crosses my mind dat, if i do this do dat, my life will be so fun. but in reality, there is still many things to learn to cope with to think of to consider... i m still acting like a child idealising my future. but in the same time, i feel i m growing up, mentally as well.

life is just so.. ironic; so unexpected yet so predictable, so beautiful yet so ugly, so intriguing yet so dull, so fast yet so slow, so simple yet so complicated...

***

i dunno wat am i drawing on to.. but for now, i m content, with wat i hv and wat i hd. to think abt the past n to regret it is the stupidest thing to do but we never will be able to resolve this mindset of ours. learning from mistake is so simple a theory yet so hard to practicalise it.

y m i so philosphical all of a sudden.

i think i need some yoga.

signing off in 5 seconds, 4, 3, 2, 1.












inspired by: a random self.

Sunday, October 15

confession

time to confess...

i) i am hooked to biscuits again! digestives is currently my favourite. there r many ways to eat it. here are some of my suggestion:

a) eat it on its own
b) dip it into a cup of milk

ii) i do not want to read!!!!!! reading is dead boring!!! i can't be bored out before exams arrive!!

iii) i should not crave for starbucks hot chocolate or caffe nero's caramel latte. but i am.







oohhhmyygoddd. can we hv the ktv session...now?!?!

Saturday, October 14

@ notts...

i m mentally n physically tired now actually.. but not in the mood to sleep? so i decided to visit an old fren tonite, and continue my journey with my inner soul - travelling with my heart.

i can't remember how i came up with this name actually.. it was so long time ago. it was when i was still in singapore, feeling so lost and sad and lonely. i had to blog so much during those days.. no actually. those days i wrote diaries.. not anymore now. bcos i blog. but blogging seems so.. so not personal. maybe dat's y i hv 2 blogs. those random poem-like stuff just keep from revealing too much, yet saying out wat i wanted to say. ha.

speaking of poems, i came across this competition thingie in SinChew just rite b4 i arrived in UK. should i say it's such a coincidence dat i saw it? yea.. cos i never read SinChew, as at home we always order for NanYang. oh, for those who r lost, these two seemingly alien names are names of newspaper in M'sia.

and so..

i really wanted to join this competition. i want to send it my poem-like stuff. too bad i can't just pick up one from my blog. bcos they cant be published anywhere (yes, including websites) before. n this totally suck. cos, i can't seem to produce better 'production' nowadays. cos the sensitve-self inside me hasn't been showing up lately, which is actually quite good.

oh well, just c how it goes. it's due 31st dec 2006 anyway.

n now, still collecting.. info, feelings, inspiration, or wtv u call dat stuff.

***

oh yes. i hvt been toking much abt my life lately. the story is just gonna keep going, but wat is most important is, i m enjoying it a lot.

ok. here's goes. just a sip of it.

jordan's cereal; mooncakesss; steamed egg; key lime pie; kitchen cum study area; ABC soup; laundry lines; beeston visits; ktv-discussion; digestives; friday-off; ipenny; qinqin; walking; frozen banana; squashed apple + juice; shoe rack to buy or not to buy..........

ok. this is one big sip. n now, time for beddy.

Tuesday, October 3

我要加油!

心口仿佛被什么压住了
吐气的次数比吸气还要多
可除了这样做
世界上好像没有其他的办法了
除非
自己先决定放弃自己

可能
这就是压力吧
我内心所期盼的自己
往往比真正的自己还要差很多
就因为这样
觉得自己永远比不上优越人士
我活在自己的高山上
可是却害自己缺氧
别人往高处爬的时候
我也想
可是别人的氧气存量好像多到
一个无穷大的喜马拉雅山都装不完
而自己
依靠这仅存的少许不纯净的氧气
默默生活在甚少有人路过的山崖边
冷嗖的风 没有人气为我加温
暴风雪之际 危机频临却缺乏扭转乾坤的力量
时机来不及成熟 就已经化为乌有

眼高手低
别人眼中的我 也许不及自己想象中的十分之一
为何如此在意
逻辑学上确实无意义
社会学上却是充满无限动力与魔力

那么 自己眼中的自己呢?

10匹阿姆
我的房间就像第一天搬进来时一样乱
就连这种小事都做不好的自己
就甭想读好书找一份工作升职加薪…