my uni life is made out of..

ppl say gals r made of sugar n sweet...

my uni life is made out of..

***
::: music :::

so far.. i hv nicked all 梁静茹的新歌 from my sis.. the whole 《丝路》 album.. i am addicted to the songs.. sumtimes.. i can just suddenly sing "好夜晚goodnight" in my heart... the next minute.. “可惜不是你”pops up in my head...

i found out my sis's blog has stef's 孙燕姿 new song.. i immediately go to download them from baidu.. sorry.. not dat i wanna do illegal stuff.. but my sis has bought a copy anyways.. (omg.. wat shit thinking is dis..). i dedicated all my time on sunday to dl the whole album! i love baidu! i dl-ed the whole album! yahoo!!! i like “第一天”，“另一张脸”，“梦不落”，“明天晴天” n those special ones... her voice can sing anything sentimental easily.. so i like the more challenging ones..

next.. thx to kean.. i got all those CD QUALITY z-chen's songs!! yahoo!! so happy! hahahhaahahaahahahahaha.... his voice is the best.. he can sing so much better than other supposingly more popular singers in the industry!!

ooo!! n i LUV 五月天的阿信 so much now!! he help to compose 丝路， n also 第一天！ omg!!
moving on...

***

^_^ dance ^_^

wat's abt dancing dat excites me?

1stly.. it's the sensation of expressing emotions n feeling through movement.. i guess dat explains y i am not so out-spoken... haha.. but actually.. i like to write too..okok...off topic..

i enjoy ballet lessons.. but they r too fast-paced.. modern cls was moderate.. but i miss those chong hwa days too much!!!!!! those days with evon!! i hv to confess.. those days i was sooooo flexible compare to now! ok.. dat time i wasnt very extremely stretchable.. but it's worse now..

i WISH there's a 1 hr stretching cls available some where....

tae geri was fun actually.. tiring but i get to sweat the most!

***
conclusion..

where does study fit in here? hmmm.. i wonder..

actually.. i still study.. occasionally.. haha... i did a practice essay.. though i handed in late! i just emailed my tutor.. n the word count is like.. lack of a few hundred.. haha..but i made an effort to do an OPTIONAL job! haha.. at least.. (omg! i am such a good student, with such HIGH morale.. )

i tried to read the feminism core text.. it gets interesting the more i read it..

when reading the psychology text books..they also get interesting the more i read them.. so i can just treat it as reading a story book? but apparently... i shud b reading, understanding, n making notes at the same time...

hmm.. nvm nvm.. it's just week 5..WAT.. WEEK 5? okok... week 5 means.. i need to get starting.. get hardworking, get motivated!

dis thurs is the formal dinner for newark hall! yeah... get to dressed up... looking fwd..
nott's msian game is 12/11 for msians.. 26/11 for sg.. bonfire is 5/11... oh yeah! 19/11 - birmingham trip... weekends all pack adii!? where's space for my movies!!! i need to watch elizabeth town n all dat! aikss!

but! (serious part now..)

essay deadlinessss... 4/11 - 1st psychology essay, 28/11 - feminism essay...

oh yeah.. november is gonna be fun.. reaaal fun...

i feel stupid sometimes if i write everything dat has happened.. so i'll just highlight imp stuff..

today went to town.. watch movie (corpse bride) + shop a lil' + ate chinese dinner! nice! it cost abt 6.30 quids per person.. the food was good.. not too salty, too sweet or too oily.. i liked it.. n we keep drinking tea! haha.. just like trying to use up wtv we can get out from the money to the max.. we cleaned the plates of dishes.. we refill the rice bowl.. haha... we had 5 ppl.. but we ordered oni 3 dishes.. so we finished them.. all.. nth is left.. except of cos.. the refilled rice bowl.. haha..

today was cold! at night was cold.. in the afternoon was ok-ish...

oh! i dl all stef's new song! so happy.. wait for tan tze wei will drive me crazy loo.. too slow adi..haha..

i'm looking fwd to get the 11 pound unlimited card for movies.. means dat i can watch unlimited movies a mth for just 11 pounds! haha.. provided dat i hv to time laa.. otherwise not worth it..haha.. but i got like soo many movies to watch! oliver twist, pride n prejudice, harry potter n others.. i dun mind watching zorro n others.. haha..

omg! i cant catch up adii.. with my academic stuff.. tmr seriously must do some reading.. monday too!

ok.. wanna zz early.. today actually wanna blog long long one.. but dunno y..suddenly.. nth to say.. zzz loo..

I can't help but to blog again..

today is such a meaningful day..meaningful as in.. i liked it the way it is..

it all started by hving breakfast with LiYen at 8.30-ish... n then.. moving on to reading for prac essay... n the cleaning lady came.. so i went over to vivian's room.. we were saying dat we shud go to lib some day to study 'properly'..haha.. u noe.. laptop is too big a temptation..
ok..moving on.. started on essay.. changed the bedlinen... so happy cos my room is cleaned finally after two weeks.. (poor Sue was sick last week.. so she couldn't clean my room)..
n then.. went for lunch.. it was ewwww btw.. i expected it to taste like the average aglio-olio spaghetti.. but it turned out to b crap! i think i cant cook better spaghetti.. haha...

after lunch.. collected packed dinner.. then rushed off to Italiano.. omg! so many vocab n grammar to learn! i swear i will focus on Italian Fri afternoon.. after i submit my prac essay..
after Italiano.. went to George Green library to get books for essay.. found some useful ones.. borrowed n photocopied them..
then it was already 5.30pm.. time to go back n rest awhile b4 Pilates starts.. but i was so tempted to buy a coffee.. so i went to the vending machine at PB.. bought a mocha! omg! it was so nice! i miss mocha! ok.. then got changed for pilates at 6pm! but the teacher was late! n she din say sorry! argh.. anyways.. we started 15mins late.. but ended 5 mins late oni! the pilates were ok.. it was pretty basic but of cos some i din do well too.. i think i prefer yoga.. cos it's with music? but anyways.. i need one/both of them..haha..love stretching!

ok..so went back..home sweet home finally.. quickly washed my duvette n floor mat n socks! hooray! new duvet today! ate pack dinner consisting of egg sandwich, yogurt, orange juice, chocolate.. i ate all of them.. n i realised i really like sandwich! haha.. i am weird..

n then.. supposedly.. i am studying.. but then.. i went on to the MOVIE sites n BALLET SHOW sites! omg!!

movies...
Pride n Prejudice, Oliver Twist, Corpse Bride! omg! i am so gonna watch all of these! but wonder who wanna watch with me! i just luv movies...

wat's more..
Bolshoi is coming to nott, Darcey Bussell is gonna perform in Sylvia! Tamara Rojo n Alina Cojocaru too! but they r all in royal opera hse in Covent Garden! I am so seriously gonna go there! I can't miss out ! OMG! dat made me all excited to the max!

ok... *calm down, calm down*

ok.. i just wanna blog to express all my happiness n excitement! haha.. weirdo.. but it's my blog.. i can do anything with it..

ok..back to my book.. n ohya.. one of the reason y i am blogging is also cos.. Psychology is getting more n more interesting.. up till now.. i mean. hopefully, it still will! pls!

ok..back to work.. will sleep happily soon..

***

期待~~~
星期四：春光乍泄和另一套戏！免费！
星期六：看戏！！
星期日：看戏！！

yet to be confirmed....
5/11：burmingham?
10/4:bolshoi?
??: covent garden?

必须：：：
星期五：Italiano 自修。
星期六/日：阅读 - feminism + psychology + italiano

***

加油！

堕落

有时候，我觉得自己真得很过分。不懂得珍惜眼前的事情，反而去追求一些，好像得到了会很幸福或很‘爽’的东西。可是，在还没有得到之前，也许永远都不会知道，到底那些可欲不可求的所谓梦想/理想，是否真的有我想象中那么完美。

***

sometimes, i feel i am such a fake person... maybe i just dun say wat i really feel... is dat good or bad? i really dunno..

***

星期六和星期日本来是读书的好时机，可是，我太懒惰了。我有试过读书，可是，好像读来读去总是停留在introduction的部分。倒是《金枝欲孽》，看了7集。试问，还有谁比我堕落。
明知道自己没有读过心理学，可是偏偏就那么懒惰。虽然只是week 3，可是，等待我做的reading已经堆积如山了。可是，很明显的，我还可以坐在这里blog。
答应自己，明天真的要整天读书了。星期五要交practise essay，我开始都没开始。
啊！我是怎么啦！

***

11pm。我还是睡觉好了。明天再好好加油。唉，说实在，我真的很不习惯这样的读书方式。以前只有考试之前才会读书，现在才刚开学，就要self-study。我真的没有那个mood。

现在有点咳嗽伤风，等会儿再吃蓝藻。

***

我的blog越来越废了，可能是整个假期都没有做到什么有建设性的事吧。好堕落啊！

***

我不想再这样，一事无成的过日子。希望practise essay会让我重新振作！真的！我必须重新振作！啊！

finally.. i finished week 3.. n i still am always not prepared for lectures..

i woke up early to borrow a really popular book from the library.. thank god the one n only copy is still there on the open shelf. phew.. as time still allow, so i sat down n do some reading.. supposedly for today's lecture.. abt nature-nurture..

after having start reading a few introductory pages from a few books, i really started getting more interesting in psychology.. i not dat interested in the machines part.. just the ideas behind them..haha. i hope i can soon develop dis interest into a strength, into a power dat can allow me not to doze off or get carried away by other things when i am doing my reading..keke.. cos i always do u noe.. i just can't fully concentrate sumtimes... i really need to rediscover the motivation to study.. dat i once had when studying for exams.. but i guess the 1st few weeks of school is lidat..

the lecture on neurosicence was abt action potential.. ppl who took A-level bio found it easy.. cos it's just like revision.. whereas for my case.. i really need to learn the more advance stuff myself..cos i did standard level IB bio.. too bad.. sigh..

then the individual in society lecture was abt nature-nurture... conducted by my nice tutor.. but feel sad for her cos she cant really deliver a lecture.. haihz.. it wasn't dat interesting... to make things worse.. i find the book i read dis morning was relatively more interesting..opps.. but i hv to confess.. she is indeed a very dedicated tutor.. oh my..she reminded me of my UWCSEA chem teacher... Ms. Dima.. she is so dedicated.. but she is just not experienced enuf.. but she got better as time pass by.. but she is really helpful.. i liked her a lot..

ok.. so after lectures.. oh wait.. between lecture we had an hr's break.. n once again.. me n my group of coursemates.. all from hong kong btw.. haha.. went to Q-Med.. cos we r having the next lecture there.. n as they r all self-catered.. they always feel hungry! so they ate smth.. i just bought a pepermint tea.. which cost £0.75! omg! so ex..

n then.. as usually.. 4 of us just keep chatting.. emily is really random n funny.. but it's good la.. at least we wont feel 尴尬 at any time.. haha..

then of cos.. after lectures ended.. i went for lunch at portland.. ate dis redcurrant lamb pie.. it was nice.. n emily n arlina helped me finished cauliflower n mushy peas.. haha.. good.. cos i too full too.. i hate getting too full... but i always hv to eat proper meals here.. ppl say they got sick of sandwich.. i mean those self-catered ppl.. cos it's the cheapest lunch they can get in school.. but for me.. i got sick of proper meals.. i.e.... meals with potatoes.. haha.. so ya.. i was secretly hoping to eat sandwich instead..haha... i can trade ur sandwich with my meal! dat's not a prob at all! hmm.. hving said dat.. i am interested to do so one day.. i shall ask my coursemates one day..haha..

n then.. i went back to JC... still thinking whether to join the seminar presentation cls or not.. but i just joined in the end.. it was.. a bit boring.. but i got handouts on how to do presentations laaa..so quite cool. during the cls, the teacher was quite humorous.. reminds me of Mr. Morley.. actually, i said to myself, i dun really need to attend these... cos Mr. Morley taught me a lot already.. i missed eng cls!! sigh!! it's a bit late to miss it oni now.. but i seriously do.. it was so useful n fun.. he was funny.. n a very good teacher too! n i am so pissed at myself.. cos i din bring any eng notes with me.. maybe i shud ask my mum to send them to me..wahaha.. i am crazy..

***

during lectures, i keep hearing ppl coughing.. n now.. it kinda hv an effect on me.. i mean the germs.. my throat has been weird for nearly a weeek adi... but still okla.. just not very normal.. i try eating more spirulina etc n eat strepsils..

i dunno y so many ppl r sick... my guess is dat those ppl party too much, drink too much, n smoke too much... they r stupid! they just cant stop partying... i am basing my guess on the fact dat.. those who cough severely r mainly caucasian.. n they r the ppl who loves partying n stuff.. gila one! n those poor asians actually got infected by them.. i think.. n now.. my fren staying in the same hall as me is sick.. poor gal.. i will visit her later.. i adi gv her 枇杷膏！ haha.. i think i shud giv her spirulina etc too.. since i really hv too much stock..haha

***

u noe.. i am so happy to be able to exercise 3 times a week!.. i joined Tae Geri on mondays.. ballet on tuedays.. n modern on thurdays..
tae geri is consider the most high intensity exercise.. sweat a lot due to jumping, kicking, punching etc..ahha..
ballet was fast.. cos i joined the advance cls.. but i am happy to do ballet again.. goin to town to get ballet stuff.. yeah
modern.. i am really beginning to luv it a lot.. ever since chkl days.. i think i was lucky to get to noe abt it from a young age.. (form 1).. so now.. i find it easier to learn it..
hmm.. i find i am lack of smth.. so still in searching for pilates or yoga lessons..aha..
i am a stretching + dance freak!

***

weekend plans: - go town
- plan prac essay
- reading reading reading, make notes make notes make notes.
- chill n watch 金枝欲孽

***

signing off.

Tuesdays r sooooooo busy...

1stly.. thx to the lovely so lovely fire alarm at 1am last night... i woke up at 8.10am dis morning! omg! my lesson is at 9am! my lecture on feminist philosophy.. oh yes.. i din eat breakfast.. i rush as fast as i could.. brush teeth, wash my face, get dressed, pack stuff (ops.. last min) n rush to the hopper bus station at like nearly 8.30... omg!! the longest queue ever.. so many ppl queueing for the bus!!! ok... deep inside my heart.. i prayed for a dbl decker hopper bus.. n thank god.. i was lucky! so.... looking at ppl getting on the bus.. i wonder if i am lucky enuf to get on dat bus as well... oh yes.. thank god again.. i got on the bus.. sitting at the upper deck.. yeah! then i looked down at the queue from the window.. n saw poor Rosalind queueing outside.. she could not get on the bus! later, i found out she woke up 10 mins later than me... told u! it's dat fire alarm! i heard there were 24 last yr! OMG! i hope dis yr will b a totally diff case... a senior.. also from msia told me abt it.. but she said dat dis yr's freshers r more well-b'haved.. so i hope she is right..

ok.. moving on...

我很久没打华文了……hehe.. random..ok..so.. 上到巴士上，发现自己忘了带 italian text book 和 line paper..真的有够猪头。所以，上完了 feminist philosophy 以后，只得赶快搭hopper bus 回 JC... 天啊！

午餐，和arlina约好了在 PB foodcourt 吃。然后，在赶着去上1小时的cognitive psychology..抄notes抄到手断了。幸好下一次的课不再是这位lectural了。

然后可以休息一小时。。

然后，上3点钟的statistical methods，最闷的课。我好想睡。。。

又是一个钟头的休息，但是我和coursemate去了library。。晃了半个小时后，又去上italian。过后，赶着去搭hopper bus回去吃晚餐。吃饱了，又要准备去8.45pm的芭蕾舞课。由于6点钟过后的hopper bus只有在半个小时才来一辆，所以只得乘搭8.15pm的车。

到了那里，A23的课室里还有beginner level 的学生。突然，我跳舞的感觉回来了。听着所谓芭蕾舞的音乐，开始陶醉其中，虽然只是beginners的。陆陆续续来了很多外国人，看着每一个不一样的脸孔，却好像都同样显露出芭蕾舞者的自信，我顿时感觉自己的渺小。

进入课室，很多人都换上了leotard 和 ballet shoe, 几乎没有人像我那样，连基本的舞鞋也没有，虽然确实是有一位。不过，话说回来，我确实有点紧张。因为，毕竟我没有跳芭蕾舞2年了。

开始的bar work真的算ok了，虽然，我还是不是很能跟得上。舞蹈老师教得好快。可是，center 的choreography才是真正的问题。由于我上一堂课并没有出席，所以前面的部分都没学会。老师先教了新的部分，同样的，教得超级快。还好，一位好心的同学，告诉老师后面的学生看不到，所以，我竟然变成first row了，which is a good thing。当下，跳得不好也许是其次了。我只想学会那些steps。我就这样，死命跟啊跟。到最后，抓住了某些step，但是，很肯定的，下星期又会忘了。

I realise, my ballet has truly deteriorated greatly.. wat can i do? i cant do anything.. my life for the pass 10 yrs were filled with ballet...but 2 yrs ago.. i suddenly left the 'ballet slot' blank..it's my fault.. otherwise.. i would imagine myself being able to do pointe work.. more or less without effort...

i will try to catch up.. no matter in ballet or psychology.. i hvt done much reading yet.. n dis is a totally new subject for me..

dat's it.. it's time i stop msn-ing every night.. it's time i get myself organised.. it's time i get serious with my life here.. it's time to get real.. n Week 3 will be the time to get started..

happy day!! lalalalalala.....

omg! dunno y today i so happy... it's actually after the dance thing really... hahaha..

today i had no lessons.. i had to go to uni park campus for an induction session of the Self-Access centre n to register for it.. cos i taking interfaculty italian.. so i need to go there to listen to tapes, watch tvs n news.. etc... phew.. luckily i went early.. otherwise i hv to go tmr again.. sorry arlina.. u were late.. hhehez..

n then after dat.. just wander ard the campus.. haha... then i bought handcream.. cos my hands so rough liao.. i hate it! hmph! oh yeah.. n b4 dat.. i bought a second-hand book too.. from a senior.. she is 4th yr now.. she said i would enjoy Feminist Philosophy wor.. dunno true or not la.. haha..

oh n then.. just took the hopper bus back loo... next time.. i will always take bus from East Drive.. n not Hallward Library.. otherwise.. i will be going around the campus! waste time oni!! oh n yeah... i bought Snickers chocolate bar.. haha.. it's random.. but at dat time i just feel like eating chocolate.. hahaha..

ok.. n then i came back.. chat wif frens n sis.. n i told her to gimme songs again.. haha.. from fish leong's new album! 《丝路》！太好听了！我的心，现在瘦瘦的，很容易，就饱了。。。

ya.. dat was one of the reason i so high now.. haha..

n the other MAIN reason is...

i went to contemporary dance lessons from 5-6pm at Portland Builiding.. so suang!!!!!! when i was dancing.. i suddenly remember the times when i learn modern dance in Chong Hwa.. n performed.. so suang!!!!!! omg! i almost 感动到哭了！

我太爱跳舞了，也不知道自己当初何以能够停止跳舞两年……

although the cls is oni 1 hr.. n not really the professional type.. but i am just too happy to be able to dance in a dance lesson again!! i can't wait for tuesday's ballet lesson...

n then at dinner.. i ate lamb n salad.. the lamb has a corn-like bean.. n on the bus i was so wanting to eat dat suddenly.. n now.. it appeared to be with the lamb! omg! so happy.. haha...

now back at my room.. listening to 梁静茹's new songs... blogging happily away.. haha..

tmr oni hv 2 lectures.but need to go to lang. centre to do italian hw...

saturday going to goose fair... it's not going there to c geese la.. it's a fun fair! with hundreds of games n rides! fun fun fun!

sunday. still considering whether wanna go to the trip to dunno cambridge or oxford.. oh well.. we hvt booked ler.. c how lo...

going to continue listen songs.. n sing like crazy.. my neighbour is noisy anyways.. he's playing guitar.. haha..

oh great! i typed so much juz now n all lost.. hv to start over again...

***

monday:nth much to do... so just dilly dally here n there.. went alone to take the hopper bus.. but then luckily bumped into some msian frens in Portland Building... so i grab a sandwich n head off with them to the Freshers' Fayre in Sports Centre.. then, signed up for MSS ( msian n sg soc), din c NMS (nottingham msian soc)... after dat oni found out it's just next to it.. *pengzz* of coz, signed up for Dance Soc, but regreted a bit cos exx nya..! 5 pounds for membership summore need to pay for each lesson. for members each lesson 2 pounds, non-members 3 pounds.. but nvm la.. since i like dancing so much! but clses all late in the evening.. means i hv to go back jubilee to makan 1st, then go back to main campus to attend lessons.. wat the heck?!

then... after dat.. go back jubilee liao loo... waited bus for soooo long... from waiting till reaching.. took like 2 hrs! cos too many ppl..! but hopefully when term starts, things will get better.

tuesday:

oh well.. the most zd day ever! 1stly.. found out dat i miss a tok on monday.. a Psychology welcome tok. so.. hv to go meet tutor.. went there early in the morning.. but she not there.. so 10pm go to register with the university 1st. went along with a few fellow course mates.. all from hk one, coincidently.

for the 1sr yr, i need to sign up for additional modules to add 40 credits to make up the 120 credits required. so.. i hd to start thinking of courses to take....

my fren wanna go to Sutton Bonnington Campus to take the course.. so.. went wif her

...oh yeah... we went on the highway.. out of the highway..then i realise.. along the roads r fields.. then i realise.. wait a minute, i think i pass by here b4! oh yeah.. when my dad was driving us towards birmingham. *pengzz*

finally reached the rural sutton bonnington campus.. follow the crowd as we dunno our way..went into a seminar.. ppl around r carrying their bioscience handbook.. we r shocked! we tot we were in the wrong place! we were so lost! in the end, we concluded dat.. maybe dis is just not the right way to sign up for a course! so... we went back.........

i luv the bus.. the Shuttle bus is so not frequent...... we waited for nearly an hour for the next bus........................................

ok.. back at uni campus.. had to rush back to jubilee for dinner liao... again.. stuck in traffic.. stupid! dat day = official bus travel day

wednesday = windy windy windy.argh.

morning was like sooooo sunny.. i even decided to wear sen screen...who noes..

the wind was so strong in the afternoon.. n i hd to walk to Queen's Medical Centre to sign up for course.. who noes.. the course convenor is not there...

fine.. i just go back...

decided to sign up for 2 philosophy modules... so went back to Trent Building..

n the wind is still blowing... very hard...

in the end.. i eventually signed up all my modules in there..

i also took Italian... cos French does not fit into my timeslots..

***

half way thru, n i'm tired liao.. n the campus night enternainment here is like clubbing n partying.. wat the... oh well.. who ask dis UK so popular with pubs?

nv joined any night events b4..actually i did.. dat one is just hot chocolate session... n i already couldn't stand it.. cos too smoky.. ppl smoke indoor.. wat the.........

my fren is asking me to go for one this fri.. i am ok with the loud music i guess.. but definitely not the damn smoke! i hate smoke!

oh well.. just c how it goes....

oh my god.. i hvnt update dis for ages...dis will be a very long post.. really really long.. but shssss... i'm in the uni campus now! n the internet is juz suppose to b for emails... haha...okok

these days in UK... mum is still like hunting for bookstores.. like she did in US.. oh no! but thank goodness she did not find many books abt astrology here.... otherwise.. her luggage will be soooooooo heavy again...

there's dis royal mail truck dat i keep c-ing in UK.... reminds me of.. a cartoon called the postman...

hmm.... i tot i hv many things to say... ohyeah... we've been to 2 beauty expo... it became really boring after awhile... cos dad is like searching for products... i am more interesting in the nails stuff... but they r all too pro for me...

we've been searching for restaurants in nottingham... many introduced by the guide book were good... but there's one chinse restaurant dat we took a long time to find... but the food was good, luckily.

dad was anxious to look around places around nottingham.. so in the end, we've been drving to derbyshire, leicestershire, burmingham, sheffield, mansfield.. etc... n for sum reason... i always fall asleep in the car while mum is bc being the navigator holding the map... n dad is bc driving...haha...

ok..dat's it... i'm getting worried dat the person will cut me off.. for doing sth else...

老朋友聚会，短暂。

just came back from outing with frens.. ops~ 应该写华语的…… 因为，有一个人说我每次写英文喔~ 哈哈……

今天，和琬琪，诗琪，琬啾见面，在KLCC。好久没见了咯~ 很开心！我们本来说好要看戏，结果，都没看。在madam kwan's 那吃午餐，吃的很饱。然后那个茹琬琪最后来的却死命说话，哈哈。她们都说我话很少，哈，不知道怎么回答。

after dat, i saw Le Suen in Kino~ OMG~! such a coincidence.. she said dat she is living juz opposite KLCC!! wau~ she was like.."r u here to buy pens too?"... haha...

可惜时间过得很快，好像才见一下子而已。拍了些照片留念。至于那些照片，现在还未能刊登于此，那个cable不在这里。

明天和琬啾再约去redbox。最喜欢唱歌了。期待。

很奇怪，每次见完朋友之后，心里面，总是有那么一点点的落寞。好像上一秒的快乐，马上被突然的曲终人散，掩盖住了。回到家，就像重新回到了空虚的世界一样。在家里徘徊也不是，收拾东西也不知该从哪里开始。也许，想带走的太多，后来却发觉，必须留下来的，更多。

突然之间，想进入一个虚拟的空间。就像看书。现在才发觉，为什么自己那么喜欢藤井树。今天，终于都让我找到了《听笨金鱼唱歌》，在KLCC的Kino。（Steph! 可以借给你了！:P) 终于，家里的藤井树系列，应该算完整了。

吃饭时间了。其实，现在还不饿。不过，还是陪陪老人家喝点汤吧。

a few more days left, n i will be leaving for U.K.

还有不到一个星期的时间。离开是新的开始，全新的开始，可能是生命中重要的转折点。

i din really feel the excitement, the anxiety nor the scariness.

直到，直到昨天，星期日，去了一趟briefing.

it was a pre-departure briefing, n also abt meeting msian undergrates n seniors.

我遇见了两位中华生。也许是巧合。但她们是交换学生，exchange students，好像是去一年而已。

dun feel like packing, even though i really shud. i feel like doing things that i want to do 1st.

看了《Because of You》，还没看完，却足以影响我。做了想做的，就应做该做的。

but i haven't finish printing memories of msia in my mind, the images r not enuf, yet.

没想到，我脑袋的容量，比我想象中大很多。

i need more. taste, sound, weather, images, friends, life.

我想烙印在脑海中的事物，我不想让味蕾忘掉的食物。 脑子可以装很多，却可能很快被打入冷宫。

tmr meeting old school frens, yet time is short. busy schedules do clashes: exams, work, etc.

但，我们珍惜，我们了解，我们心里有数。见面是仪式而已，友情不会被现实控制的。

because if frenship is true, if frenship is from the heart, it will remain unbreakable.

也许会冷淡，但是一旦在未来的日子有交集，友情会从停掉的地方延续，而不是重头开始。

***

什么是幸福？

幸福是：听着代表你心情的音乐，喝着代表你心情的饮料。

幸福是：曾经拥有一段值得回忆的过去。

幸福是：懂得笑的美丽。

幸福是：你心情很轻松的时候，不由自由地笑的时候。

***

望着手提电话，无聊得想开始乱sms人。无奈，不懂那个受害者是谁。有时候，如果生命中，有一个人可以陪着你，也像你一样无聊地sms，是不是会让寂寞的空气，增添少许的笑容呢？

如果很久没有伤心的感觉，会不会很奇怪？不是开心的时候，却又不像是伤心的时候，真得很奇怪。于是，开始在电脑播起所谓伤心的歌，想让自己有一个可以解释的情绪。

今天，我和妹妹坐计程车出去。一路上，我们没有说话。其实，这很正常，我本来也不感觉有什么异样。但是，如果坐我旁边的人，不是妹妹，而是别人，例如说，一个不是很熟的朋友，我就会觉得空气蔓延着很尴尬的气氛，好像一秒没有东西讲就表示我们是没有话说的朋友。不知道，这也许只是我奇怪的想法。

没话说了，我现在正在想，到底此刻的情绪是什么。

无聊篇

一天一天的过去，9月快到了啦！没想到，那么快我就要飞到老远的英国去了。

哎，好像还有一大堆的事还没做似的。还没见完朋友，还没买完要带去的东西，还没办完该办的手续，还没有收拾任何的东西，还没收拾心情。

我是很期待全新的生活体验，可能是因为住在这个无聊的家很久了吧。每天不是看电视，就是上网，每天都计划要收拾乱糟糟的书桌，可是永远都不会去做。

hiwayu的书也看得7788了...只剩下《这是我的答案》and 《听笨金鱼唱歌》。可是，一直买不到《听》... 气死了啦。。。

天啊。。。为什么CD这样贵！我又想买CD了。。因为啊。。觉得download很缺德。。哈哈。。虽然我已经dl了很多很多首啦。。

yeah!明天我和朋友去义达的签唱会哦！虽然不是义达的超级粉丝，也可以替妹妹拿签名啦！因为她比我疯狂！老实说，义达的歌真的是越听越棒哦！

哎呀。。。太久没有写东西原来是会生疏的。。现在，也不知道要写什么了啦。等我的生活精彩一点才写好了。

拜。

用一半的心

突然之间，我发觉我变得很表面化。其实，更正确地，应该是说，我发现我是一个很表面的人。做事情只用一半的心，因此在乎的通常都是结果，而不是过程。明明所有事情的过程永远都重要过结果。可是，社会告诉我们，我们要看到你成功的结果，不是有多辛苦的过程。

减肥。很多人为了减肥，动手术这个那个，出现很多十年前会觉得很匪夷所思，甚至是不道德的事。到了现在，道德的标准变了。所以，N年以后，也许复制人类已经是合法的了。

盗版。人们在意的是成果。你的CD好听，很多人就会download，管你是花了半年还是三年完成的专辑。电影也是一样。

听歌。我们习惯听歌，先听到旋律。这没有错。但是，因为用一半的心去听，所以只听到了音乐，忽略了歌词的部分。一首商业歌，好不好听，好像最重要。我也是这样。很多时候，听歌就只听旋律。那好啊，不用歌词也罢！就不知道为什么，最近开始留意比较没那么商业化的专辑。买了蓝亦邦的专辑，还有coldplay 的。老实说，两者的music都不是很catchy，不是一听就喜欢的那种。但我开始留意歌词，发现我喜欢歌词多过音乐。歌词的内涵，把我带入音乐，所以我才留意到了音乐。这种歌，比较能够让人感动很久。

当然，不能只听这样的音乐。因为有时候，唱歌的人也是很重要。若要我选择，我宁愿听一个会唱歌的人唱不好听的歌，好过。。

i've lost the sense of not belonging, n so i've lost my sensibilty. 曾经一度的迷惘错乱，寂寞孤单，反而让我专心的利用我的感性。生活变得平顺，一切变得很自然，没什么事需要操心的，也因为这样，我失去了我洞察人性的感情。我失去了观察的能耐，把重心移植到满足社会人应该拥有的欲望。欲望越多，也同时失去的感觉更多。寂寞时发掘出来的观察能力，也随即逐渐消失。

可是，我没理由重头寂寞。寂寞不好受。所以，我要学习如何满足表面化的成就的同时，不忘记内心真正的挣扎，真正想寻找的东西。我不知道那会是什么，因为我还在寻找。心曾经引领我去到了灰暗的深渊，环境后来把我拉出来。但是，我却从此渐渐把心灵给遗忘，开始更了解这个迟早都会坏掉的臭皮囊。心灵，纵使让我很不快乐过，也让我成长得很多。现在，我想回到我的心灵深处，触摸那个伤口，让真正的感动让它慢慢痊愈，真正地痊愈并成长得更健康。

我要学着，用我所有的心，去完成生活上的大大小小的事。

dis hols.. i've been travelling..

i went from Newark to K.L... experienced the hazy days in K.L. n a trip to redbox! best place to be when there's hot sun or bad haze out there.. n of course.. a taste of hawker food... went to Alison hawker stall twice.. ate curry noodle the 1st time.. n 怡保芽菜鸡 the 2nd time.. n certainly.. nv missed out on 炒果条! the best eva~ sum how.. i miss small portion of meals.. n all those carbo! ahha...

after 2 days at K.L... went to sg again... i tot i wasnt gonna be back in here anymore u noe! haah.. but who noes.. i am back again! rite i pass the imm... took a taxi from West Mall to Cine.. met up with 89s! it was ur last meeting.. but hey 89s! if u all r reading dis.. dat will NOT be our last meeeting!! bcos.. i think i will be able to go to 义达's 签名会 after all!! yeah!! mum said dat we will be staying till the end of the mth.. n i already told her abt going! yeah! so happy! wanna meet 89s again! ops.. hvn't send u all the taiwan pics.. sowie...will do it later i finish blogging.. :P

ohwell.. guess wat! my fren told me dat the sky in K.L. was clear today! wat........ hmph! fine! after we go to sg, the sky wind decides to change it's direction? duh! anyways.. i shud be happy rite? haha...

many things to buy here in sg... today just bought U87-- Eason 陈奕迅's CD.. can't find 蓝亦邦’s 无非想快乐 in West Mall.. act.. when i went out with 89s.. i saw it in orchard popular.. but not enuf money to buy at dat time! argh! so.. guess i will hv to keep trying.. really need to get updated b4 going to UK..

quite excited abt going to UK... a lot of new things will happen i guess.. 1st time away from parents for a yr.. dat's the least to say.. entering a whole new environment is wat's most anticipating! hope can meet up with Bro Mike.. n go chinatown n KTV? n also wanna meet up with 892 in London! KTV too! haahah.... i am really a KTV freak! but it's good! i luv singin!!!!!

i'm way too excited now... shall listen to dear Eason sing now... haha.. n post those pics to 89s.. b4 they threaten to kill me.. haha..

home sweet home

when smth come to an end, we r always reluctant to say goodbye.

been in US for 1 n a half mth...at 1st, din really like US... dunno y.. but of coz.. dat may be sum kind of prejudice... but now.. i realise.. i like the place just like any other place dat is foreign to me... dat is new to me... i like it.. cos the place i live in for the past mth was like a small town... no bad traffic.. no polluted air.. no extreme weather due to concrete..

i remember.. the 1st week here was the beginning of summer.. the atmosphere still has an essence of spring air.. n the mornings are often cloudy.. n one of those mornings.. my dad, mum n me... went to jogging along the road.. the weather was so cooling.. just like those in genting or cameron highlands... n we pass by nice n cosy lil hses.. with beautiful xmas trees in front of their hses.. n they nv hv fencing... unlike msia... their postbox r so beautiful too.. then we went to a family restaurant n had excellent american breakfast... despite the portion was too big.

after dad left, the weather turn hotter... everyday... i hv to apply sunblock lotion.... after sister left for treatment... me n mum wld then walk around chester town to search for a coffee shop to hv breakfast.... those mornings n free afternoons.... i manage to finish one chinese novel n one english novel..

we shopped a lot.... bcos.. there is nth left to do? haha...i think so... i had a mth of eating, drinking n shopping.... though... i hv to say... still derive of sleep... hols r suppose to be for sleeping... as in no alarm clock to ring u up every morning...

n finally... we hv to leave.... i am now in Newark Airport... usingthis lowsy computer dat is so slow.... it had caused me to become angry... n the anger chased all the inspirtaion away.... ok.. time to leave.. as i'll be boarding...soon...

i wanna dance!!

i wanna attend professional dance lessons again!!!

i hv been watching dis programme on fox channel here in US.. they r showing a new programme produced by the same producer of American Idol, called "So You Think You Can Dance"... i miss the 1st one hr of this 1hr n a half episode today... but the last half an hr is enuf to make me feel like dancing!!!

there was a part where one dancer dance to the music in cls... while the choreographer n the others watch.. n u noe wat! he danced until he break into tears! but of coz, he kept dancing... n the other contestants who were watching together also start crying!! so emotional! n he was dancing a modern dance routine!! ohno~ i felt like joining them dat moment!!

i dun care! i am seriously gonna go for dance lessons in uni! too bad nottingham doesn't hav modern.. but they ballet, jazz n hip-hop~ i wonder if it's ok for me to go to all of them! haha..

n then.. went for 2 yoga lessons since i was here.. the lessons were cool! i liked them! they were more advanced than those dat i use to go to during grade 11.. oni for a term though.. haha..but the 2 lessons dat i went in here were great! havent been sweating from doing stretching etc etc for yrs! i enjoy sweating after all those body movements! but i think i wont be able to attend another one here already.. since i am leaving soon~ haihz..i hope they hv yoga/pilates in nott! i hope they do!!

tmr going to NY once more.. this time going to chinatown! going to eat chinese lunch! yahoo! ciao now... hv to wake up tmr.. for breakfast at Perkins Family Restaurant.. yeah~ boy am i gonna gain weight! gosh~

book baton

Ok 893!! argh~~ haah.. jkjk..

number of books owned:
what! what kind of Q is dis? ok.. do u mean from when i was in kindergarten? or wat! for god sake! how would i noe?

The last book I bought:
hmm... last book i bought in in Taiwan... 《十年的你》 by 藤井树! finish reading it already! yeah~ nice book... his style is becoming more mature.. n more open? I mean..笔触更加大胆。 the "feel" is not the same as the others...


Five books that mean a lot to me:
wow.. not an easy question u noe~

ok... i think one of them will be..方文山的《演好自己的偶像剧》。 the book is not with me now.. so not so sure if the title was rite... it's oni until after i read dis book, my inspiration of writing poetic things is becoming more vivid to me... i think...

i dunno if dis is one of them too... er.. 刘墉的萤窗小语。i borrowed it in the library.. i think it was primary or secondary? can't really remember... anyways... i learnt dat.. i hv to write down wat i c or wat i tot in order to collect inspiration...

n then..of coz... 《B栋11楼》！after reading dis book, i knew i would be in luv with hiyawu's book! n i did! it's so nice!!! i am hoping to get all of his books!

2 left! so difficult! maybe... 《小王子》... the little prince... it's nice i think..but 在N年前就已经忘记里面的内容了... 只记得面包树.... i wanna read again... i remember the preface said if u read it in different ages, u will gain different things.. so wanna read it again..

n... 几米的... i can't remember the title! but his books r nice... expecially dat one... his imagination is wild... uses cute graphics to express his tots.. which also reflects the nature of human beings.. n the society...


Five people to whom become the next victims :
do u think any of the ppl dat i mention will actually go do dis things? i dunno.. so.. i refuse to ans dis question..

Sometimes, ppl juz take advantage of u, most certainly, without u noeing wat's going on. but after u've noe wat's act happening, do we hv to be angry? cos, u noe, there is no turning back of time, anyways. u can't reverse wat had happened, n u can't prevent the next one from happening. those ppl, won't warn u, would they?

when we came to this town, nobody knew who we were. We went to many coffee shops, but there weren't many to go to. Soon, the ppl in the coffee shops became familiar to us. They knew we exist a long time ago, but in another part of the world. Soon after that, we left the town for home. They knew we had left, as they would never see us, probably forever again. However, from then onwards, they would recognise ppl like us, ppl dat exist in the other part of the world.