离开明年只剩下22个小时

许久都没有新的post.

生活过得太舒服，恨不得现在就是暑假，而不是短暂的圣诞假期。

突然，多了一些复杂的感受。

是痛，是泪。
是渴望，是奢望，是期盼。
是遗憾，是惋惜，是不舍得。

渴望因为不曾拥有过，奢望因为很难得到却又很想要，期盼因为对一切的渴望与奢望依旧抱着希望。
遗憾因为好像不曾好好地珍惜，惋惜因为从未用心去体会、没有把握机会去争取心里想要得到的，舍不得因为还不想放手、还想继续拥有现有的快乐、还想拥抱着回忆。

做人啊，太贪心，就会不快乐。

偶尔想一想，妙想天开地踏入2005年的最后一天。

至少，我仍旧带着一颗炙热的，存放着热腾腾的希望的，红红的心。

一切的期盼，给了明年。

当你离开明年，只剩下不到22个小时的时候，有没有想过自己应该抱着什么心态和什么心情去面对，今年的最后一天，和明年的第一天呢？

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p.s. : 我想回归到，最自然最真的友谊。我想再次与你们相聚，我的老友们。

pigging out

sleepy afternoon. 停留在英国的时光。stuck in time.. stuck in a different time zone.

desparate to:
eat good food --> do i still care abt gaining weight when i keep stuffing myself with
sumptuous meals n chocolates?
ktv!!!!!!!! --> i dun mind going everyday... in order to 'collect' ktv moments to last me till next
summer.
wat else... can't think of others now... brain dead...

***

不可以睡，但我很累。

tmr going out wif dear cousin.. parents always bc.. stuck at home.. cos not allowed to go out dat often..

need to start planning when to study wat.. friday summore departing to pangkor for xmas n the weekends..

oh well.. i need to go eat chocoloate now..

home, sweet home?

so many things had happen.. n i dunno where to start from... met Si Jie in london: two days of recollection of the primary school yrs and sharing of life, in general.. i felt so easy... though we really haven't c each other for such a long time! words really cannot explain everything.. but i really enjoy those two days.. n till now, i still can't believe i actually can meet up with her in london.. watched STOMP in london! it was amazing...

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i almost can't get on the plane.. thx to msian airlines.. overbooked flight... thank god i still got on the plane n checked in half n hr b4 departure.. close call..

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watched 2 n a 1/2 movies on the plane: chocolat, drink drank drunk, half of aviator.
really love to watch movies so so much la.. slept so lil' yet not exactly feeling much of the jet lag.. still can eat xenri normally n happily..

***

monday went to 1U with xmas n eeling.. n also went to the curve.. bought small thingies.. accesories stuff.. but i soon need to get more clothings n sandals n hat etc..

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not anymore energetic to blog now.. i was.. when i was experiencing happier moments.. but now.. i realise i miss UK..
i miss.. the freedom.. the freedom to go wherever, do watever, sleep whenever, do hw whenever etc etc.. n now.. i cant go wherever n whenever i like.. i need to do an xtra thing all the time.. ask permission.. dis sucks..
i miss UK also cos.. i dun hv to think abt family issues, no matter it's parents, cousins, or others.. but back in msia.. it's diff.. i can onli console myself with food food n more food.. no freedom sucks.. but nevertheless... more time with family..
thank god i still have a lovely home..

***

i swear i will learn how to drive.. n hopefully after dat.. i get to do more wat i want to do.. but then again.. maybe at 18 of age, i am just wanting too much.. too much..

week of craziness

last week was a long week..filled with fun n stress..

the stress bit (oh no..) :
italian coursework n listening exam, last essay of the term.


the fun bit (oh yes!) :

:::Thursday :::
Liyen's bday celeb in my room @ 12 midnight! happy b'day gal!!
we played cards again! 5 of us plus suz.. so fun...

::: FridAy :::
dinner @ mandarin ( though the dishes we ordered r common.. shud hv ordered better dishes. but nevertheless.. I LOVE THE DECENT RICE!)

movie @ showcase
WOODY! I CAN NEVER STRESS ENUF!
we watched such a NICE movie.. it's in fact.. the crappiest movie ever i've watched in a cinema! thank god we din pay penny to get in..! phew! if not.. he charm la.. we all will belasah him! it cost £3.90 for a cinema tix..
so ppl.. BEWARE!
DO NOT WATCH "The Chronicles of Narnia" !
having said dat, i still hv to say it had been a fun experience.. watching crap movies to waste time.. at least i noe showcase is a decent place for movies.. not bad..

::: SatuRdaY :::
**like how suz put it..***
nice movie --> harry potter
nice food --> wagamama
n my ans to her comment was...
nice day --> today

i dunno if anyone will agree with me or not, but the book is definitely better than the movie dis time.. 1stly, he was a diff director.. hence diff approach.. personally, i think he cant illustrate a novel perfectly in 3 hrs time.. it's hard.. no doubt.. but he has too much bits here n there.. n the convos r random.. oh n yes.. it's not dat fantasy-like anymore... i dun like dat part.. i want the previous director back!

wagamama serves jap food.. fusion style i suppose.. most ppl there r caucasians.. food isnt bad.. but kinda ex! but i still wanna go back there! cos i love soup noodle! i wanna try fried udon n curry rice next time! oh yes! n the desert again as well!haha..

***

eat , eat, eat. my life hv been revolving ard dis word so much lately.. i dun really noe y lately i cant control eating.. no matter how bad the food taste.. ewww.. am i really going to suffer from over-eating?

***

这几天，好像失去了自己一样。

有时候，有冲动，想重新回到，孤僻的自己。

累，可能是不够睡吧。

想回家。因为有飞机票，有一种期待。有安排，就有期待。若是让自继续模糊的生活在这里，我不敢估计我会怎么样。是我太无情了吗？都没有在想家……

其实，还蛮开心。可以回家，回家收拾我自己，重新找到定点。

***

lost. i feel lost. but i dunno y i do.

曼城之旅

这次的曼城之旅，我抱着奇怪的心情出发。

经lab report的一番折腾之后，本来真的很想逃离nottingham, 在加上这两天的atrium晚餐，我恨不得让自己去manchester放肆地吃一顿。

Friday Night第5次的fire alarm, 3.30起身受冷越30min之久，后来竟然吃了半碗 kimchi面，拖到5点钟才回房间。辗转难眠。第二天早上，snooze了闹钟千百回，最后被 li yen 一CALL叫醒。5人同行，我将到达一个陌生的地方去，吃熟悉的食物。感官上的享受，味蕾上的满足，是否会唤起思念……

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吃尽了美食：太湖的点心，太湖的火锅。以UK的消费来说，不算贵了。

点心项目：
~ 荷叶饭，烧卖，奶黄包，炸两，叉烧肠粉，虾肠粉，蛋塔，叉烧酥，粥，等等。~
p.s.: 很多想吃的，没叫到。哎呀。

火锅项目：
~ 螃蟹，大虾，青菜 (finally green leafy vege!)，蘑菇 （竟然没有金针菇！），肉丸，鱼丸，牛肉片，炸鱼片（太棒了！！！），等等等。~
汤底： tomyam/药材汤

***

满足了肚子以后，是时候减肥了！哈哈。。 也是时候，真真正正开始做功课，不，是赶功课！

waiting for saturday to come..

it will be really fun!! going to manchester! for some unknown reasonsss, the more i think about it, the more i feel like going.. how come???

looking fwd to hot pot! yeah!! looking fwd to a stress free saturday..

i dun care if i am going to be worked up on sunday.. haha.. anyway, i am such use to procrastinating anyways.. no wonder i have short term memory.. long term memory just do not exist in me.. so there is no point studying way way ahead right?

after this week, i will only have to wait for 2 more weeks n i will be free from Jubilee's food.. if u ask me, the truth is my toleration has already adapted to the food.. but today i really tasted the worse.. it's tasteless.. the 1st time ever i nearly did not eat my meal.. shud hv taken some cheesy pasta thingy.. argh..

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things to do lists in k.l.:
1) ktv ktv ktv.
2) shopping shopping.. w/o worrying do i stil hv enuf money left to pay.. haha..
3) filled my body with essence of M'sian food n all asian food.. screw sucky western food.. unless my parents r gonna bring me to some nice restaurants..
4) rip all new cds.. etc..

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feeling sleepy. did not sleep the whole of thursday.. courtesy of Pseudohomophone Effect..
shitz.. i suddenly feel like eating chinese takeaway.. i am derived of decent food till the point that i can risks becoming fat?

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signing off. zzz.