清明时节雨纷纷，
路上行人欲断魂。
借问酒家何处有，
牧童遥指杏花村。

爸爸如果现在在新加坡的话，一定会随口念起这首诗的。

近几天，每天都在下雨。前些日子，天天阳光普照，真是热得要命。而且，不知是马来西亚飘来的烟雾，还是印尼飘来的，弄得数日来的空气，笼罩着浓郁的烟味儿。但是，这几天下来的细雨，应该都将烟味消除得不着痕迹了吧。

真是很奇怪，几乎每一年，靠近清明节的时候，一定会突然下起雨来。对，是突然，不是渐渐的。通常的现象呢，就是老天先来一个天天大太阳，热到无法挡，然后接下来就上演一出“扭转乾坤”，来个连续几天的连绵细雨。

突然想到，明年的我，可能没法历经这样的画面了，因为，我将会对着朦胧的英国天气呐喊，“请给我阳光！”

好了，还是收拾心情，回到书本上去吧。

ah well.. i did biz for the whole day...means dat i am too slack again!

woke up at 10.30am... then sleep again.. then again at 11am.. and suddenly sth pop into my mind.. 大首播of F.I.R. 千年之恋！ so.. i quickly got up and on tv~ yeah...so nice~! recorded it already~ sis is getting the cd for her bday gift + penny's cd~ arrrr!! nvm.. i can listen also wat! haha..

ok.. then eat brunch, read papers etc... then start on biz stuff，act.. i oni did glossary.. hahaa...
then.. sis told me to upload dreamweaver.. it took > 7 hrs! and it din work... great! shud have log off~ and concentrate.. wateva..

actually.. i tot i did a lot~ but then i realise i oni did the glossary which is really really bad.. though i printed the possible exam questions and stuff.. but still... haihz..

tmr.. going to steph's hse to discuss the case study..
then.. 4 more days left till mei and mummy is coming back~ ok.. not much time to study.. good ar! and i havent started math! very good tan tze shean~! argh..
ok.. better dun get piss...

haihz... on9 so long and kept chatting with mei made me feel home-sick~ everyone is at home now... chatting and laughing.. and i am alone here... dat sucks..

anyways.. gambade..add oil! no time to lose... 4 days left shud concentrate on organic chem and options, math revision, chem n math past papers.. no time for other subjects!

ya..ok.. better sleep now.. tmr i am not gonna wake up early... suan le baa~ 顺其自然好了！明天会更好，请相信这是真的~

fine.. a week of hols.. i mean.. REVISION hols has gone.. and one week left.. argh!! i am sick already... though i din study much.. but i am sick already!!
sick of being alone and only speak 10 sentences max perday.. or even 5..

sick of studying chem and falling asleep all the time...

sick of not being able to shop cos no money and no time... and yet! the newspapers and tvs and everything just keep tempting me to buy stuff!! argh...

sick of... not being able to concentrate!!

okok.. calm down...

actually... it's nice to be alone sumtimes... dun have to endure nagging from mummy.. dun have to argue with sister though i seldom do now... dun have to be tempted to eat and drink too much as the eat-so-much-but-wont-gain-excess-fat sister and mummy is not around... and can always go out for a stroll around the condo after dinner and enjoying the breeze... aaa...enjoy dat the most..

ya.. maybe i shud feel contented... but just dun seem to be focus enuf! ok.. after this entry, i shall get back to my organic chem and then eat lunch.. then do sum past paper... then drink barley for tea time.. then continue studying.. then go to buy sum grocery stuff... then come home bath and dinner... then tv time.. watch h.k. movie awards.. haha...

ok... better get back to work... all this entries actually help to sort myself out and get me motivated to do things... haha... and entertain me too... haha...

today.. tried to study chem.. but so tired.. my god.. have to walk around and then read out loud oni can keep myself awake... argh.. i decided to sleep early! now! haha.. so can wake up early to study.. yeah~ duh~

oh...monday was fun!!! although ktv doesnt seem high enuf (cos oni 3 hrs!!!! cant we just go for 5 hrs!! i want!! maybe taiwan can try!heeh) .. but the leavers pg was fun.. though we stayed at 892's hse till like 10 sth thank god mum din call ... ops.. feel guilty... haha...ahihz... 89ss... i cant wait to go taiwan!!!!~ ok. dat will be my new motivation for IB exam.. haha...i always use rewards as my motivation.. not veli good is it... anyway.. who cares.. as long as i get wat i want from IB.. haha

after I.B., i have to watch initial D.. hopefully with 89s.. haah... then decide my uni...then... plan taiwan...!! then... after dat.. go back msia learn driving, cooking, make up.. haha.. menicure pedicure stuf.. wahaha.. .so fun!!!

ok....keep those as my motivationSSS.. and then these days really have to concentrate! haihz.. i am getting so forgetful.. hopefully i wont forget the things i learn now in the hols.. otherwise... i'll be dead...

ok... betta sleep... 10.30~~ havent slept so early since dunno when..ahah..ok... ciaoz

hahaha.. today i feel so happy + a bit more motivated + positive + bahagia... how to say 幸福 in english? haha.. ok.. anyways... 为什么呢？dunno.. just nth very bad happened and i wanna be happy..

我想学习如何不把别人的眼光当作一种压力；
我想学习让自己更坚持自己的选择；
我想学习让自己因为作了自己觉得对的决定而感到快乐。

我不想再去在意别人怎样看待我；
我不想再顾虑别人是否喜欢我；
我不想再做别人喜欢我做的事情或决定，而我自己却不欢喜的事情。

ya.. but.. maybe not everything lidat.. for e.g. frens.. 助人为快乐之本 rite? 有时候，为了朋友，委屈一点、辛苦一点，是无所谓的。因为，我这么做还是很快乐！

ok.. better get back to my english essay.. my focus of the day is english~! i am aiming for a 6!! if i get a 5 i'll cry! so.. in order to achieve my goal, i need to：
1. improve my grammar! read ur sec notes? haha...
2.vocab!! the report from mr. morley said so too! i noe i am repeating the same words over and over again.. but how le.. so diff... ok.. i'll try..
3.practise essay! thesis --> topic sentence --> link to essay!

ok.. cool.. motivated to continue with english essay! i like becoming motivated to do things.. haha...

diary

很久很久，没有写心情日记了。
今天，吃了晚饭到condo外头散散步。一阵凉风迎面吹来，那种凉意，只有下了雨后的晚上，才会让人颤了一阵。可是，我用手摸了摸胸口，均速进行的心跳频率，让我的手心顿时暖和了。用心去感觉那股热乎乎的暖意，只有处在幸福之中的人，才能真正的感受到。

还记得那首歌吗？“幸福，不是每一天都有。。”是陈晓东的歌。 其实，现在的我活着的每一天，我事实上比很多很多人幸福。今天，我能够放开胸怀体会到那种滋味，真得很高兴。当我感到迷惘、绝望的时候，回到我这小小的天地来重温旧时的幸福感，必定能够让我在一次勇敢站起来。
好开心~此时的我，真的有种无忧无虑的感觉。。

但是，那种感觉很快就消失了。我要读的书堆积如山，过了今天，我一定要开始有所行动。我清楚知道，我需要培养读书的情绪。前几天开始计划。那种motivation也开始来了。 希望明天真的能够开始认真的做功课。哈~ 可是，没想到，突然间姑姑还有爸爸来到新加坡了~糟糕。明天，肯定没有多少时间读书了。。

maybe it's bettet to start writing in english now.. haha..random..
ok,.anyways.. if dat's the case.. my aunt is here.. my dad is coming tmr... wow.. better do sum work tmr morning.. yeah..dat's it... no.. actually not.. i will sleep until really late.. i noe dat.. nvm.. just start tmr.. getting sleepy now.. just treat today as rest day... haha.. wateva.. hope tmr is not going to end up as another rest day... my god.. i prefer typing in english suddenly.. so weird.. ahah..

waa.. so much... i typed so much already.. ok... dat's all i have to say then...