poems are fun to express the unexpressable.

也許是執著 也許是尋覓 也許是回憶

totally stubborn
yes i am
holding onto that something
which creeps inside and perhaps beyond me
into the definition of
my self-identity

i m not tired
no i m not
i shall prove to myself
yes myself
that all this is no burden
they r just part of me
naturally
not becos of the past, future, present
but it just comes naturally...

dat's y i m doing all this .


there is no end until i find out
the causality behind the truth that is yet to be explored

soon
that will be
the 'soon' that is not too far away



and it continues...

the brand new,.. me?

how has life been treating me?

***

it's been.. really quite some while. since i last blog, blogged abt taiwan.. and those days where i feel comfortable sitting under a tree, listening to voice of nature, feeling the sunset, amuse myself with the everchanging clouds, and the appearance of the smiling moon..

and months later, i find myself, sitting here in nottingham, on a not-so-comfy dining chair, typing away just cos i feel bored and wanted a rest from work. well, not dat i worked a lot already. but yea, i need an interim break? lol. made up word.

off to my 1st dance lesson for this semester, sem 5. it's one of those things, or one of those days dat i look fwd to. maybe i just love being alone too much. mark my words, not being lonely, but being alone.

for the fact of my fondness of lonesome, i lost the sense or more like i never had the ability to communicate with another person properly, and especially when i m stress/nervous/panic. argh. dat is definitely one BIG THING dat i hate abt myself.

dat's wat brought me back to this little corner of mine. to talk thru myself, abt my shortcomings and how can i improve it.

not easy. definitely not. but thru more exposure and experience, i truely hope i will improve. maybe i need to get part time jobs to get myself more charismatic. i need it, for survival. yes, it's dat bad....

oh well, i dont exactly want to be too negative abt myself here.

yes. looking fwd to a brand new saturday. and then, it will be back to working mode. i need it for 3rd yr. my expectations r high for this yr. i need to achieve a certain amt of success, before i can actually allow myself to pursue a dream, the dream.

ok. dat's it folks. will meet again, when i m nearer to my dreams.