self(ish).

How i wish i can type Chinese faster on mac but it’s so impossible and hence i need to type in English which might not be my best language to express my often conflicting thoughts. But anyway, i shall continue. Or begin.

22 april 2008. I am anticipating for the day that i can finally count down to the end of undergraduate exam. I drilled so hard on FYP and dissertation. And now, before i start skimming through journals regarding ToM, rPFC and TPJ (dun worry abt understanding these abbr. becos u dun nid 2), I want to shift my intellectual brain to non-intellectual sectors of the world for a few moments first.

I have no time to think about the near future just yet. But i do plan to read extensively on things outside the academic world due to an increasing self-efficacy towards maturing my inner soul. I am empty within. I know so little, think so little and engage so little with the essence of the world – people. I am, however, no good at engaging interesting conversations with others, but I have no strong intention to change that just yet, not before I feel I have a better/broader/deeper understanding of the world and not just about myself. After this egoistic month of continuous telling myself every morning that “I believe I can fly”, it is time to embark on a different journey, one that is not poles apart from my life as an undergraduate but one that exceeds it and expands it. It, shall extrapolate the virtues, and strengthen my capability outside of the selfish regime, and the list goes on.

I have engaged too much time thinking out of the box, the “Come on i can finish this asap..” box. Time for some energy food (which is never lacking in my busy life), and back to square 1 - not one that traps itself and goes around a stupid circle, but one that extracts valuable intellectual materials from all regions of philosophies and thoughts and ideas, translating them to become relevant to the repertoire of the goal and scope of the square.

11.45am @ Gloria Jeans.