an aspiring ending note.

i cant believe this but yes i am blogging for the 3rd time within 24 hrs.

-------

been talking a lot today.
A LOT.
but it's good.
this is exactly what i need most.
communication with an external physical body. a bi-directional mechanism in which i can understand myself more, from observing myself speaking and listening to others.

when differences meet, you will find yourself more worthwhile, in the sense that, everyone is unique, and could somehow contribute to the world, to the happiness of others, the well-being of the community.

i have been internalising my communication for a long time. sometimes i just really need some real communication. but so often do i habituate myself with solitude, a sign of the depletion of the essence of human kind.

AH. perhaps this is my newly-founded future prospects - interaction and communication.

Laban? Labanotation? Dance Movement Analysis? Non-verbal communication?

waha. what a dramatic ending note to a this day where i officially disconnects myself from anticipation of an unknown future. love it.



i wish there was a degree in love now. where love extends beyond the individual, the group, the community, the society, the country, the race, the world. (oh no system theories).


ok. let me jot down a few aspiring sidenotes before i fall back into a melancholic mood.

i thought of doing something ECO. something green. something that contributes to the maintenance and improvement of life, from the most general point of view.

i thought it continuing with psychology, but in a more diverted way, or a less direct way, lets put it this way. a form of healing, through understanding of the self, but not only the self.
but self, in relation to, others - people and the environment. through the medium of language and movement. through the variation in culture and social norms.
(at this point i am extremely glad i did psychology as a degree, eventhough i did not excel as a great student, but personally, i deeply appreciated the maturity that i have gained throughout the years).

i thought of doing chinese medicine. link with nutrition. with naturopathy. with body and mind as a whole.


-----


in response to post no.1, dated 12/6/08.

i have successful untangled myself from a maze of self-torturing and self-humiliating. i learn or relearn to accept the fact that PROCESS is always more important than the RESULT.
i am glad for what i have chosen to do with my degree, eventhough the result have been such due to my divergence from conventional psychology.

at this point, i TRULY have thought it through.
i just could not believe that i am able to end this day with a gleeful smile.

lets hope my dreams are sweet tonite. and will these spirit in me continue to flourish throughout my life. keep me going for as long as i can live.


all in all, no matter what i do, i aspire to bring happiness to people around me. i love to see that people feel happy becos i am around, and not sad and gloomy, or pressurised as a result of my presence. i aspire to contribute to this world, to bring positive spirit and life, to this world around me.